after we finished we were both getting water at the kitchen sink...butt naked
so?
then my sister's foreign roommate walked out...in footy pajamas
Welp...herpes.
It was kind of weird
What did your mom walk in?
She flung her tampon across the room.
I dont wanna date her. I just wanna be able to run a blacklight over her face and prove ownership.
so id say it was a successful trip...i only got hit on by one cousin...
Either allow it in a formal toast or i will drunkenly tell your in-laws while i'm dancing on their table. either way, the truth is coming out
I love you. I'm too high for this. Find a way. Make it happen. Live strong.
Good morning! Spongebob is on channel 257 when you wake up. Help yourself to breakfast. You were great last night. See you when i get back.
on the subway to an interview & there's a dude doing whippits out of a cheese wil can
You know your high, when your chugging applesauce out of the jar with no utensils.
Not sorry that my walk of shame this morning was barefoot on my scooter.
I think they're German
Just say lederhosen and see what happens
Prob because you've thrown up alot. As long as its not like pure blood you're fine. Drink water.
Being able to fart in her presence and not be judged is why I pay half the rent.
She acted like falling "up" the stairs was a fucking physics phenomenon. I call that Tuesday nights.
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