So we've decided on 'hamburger' as your code for tonight. If you add ketchup or fries, we know the threat level has escalated.
Tears do usually get me what I want. That and oral sex.
just took my ibuprofen with ramen broth, yay college
he's downstairs watching tv with my family... I called the home line so my mom could bring me my make up bag cause my real face would prob make him delete my number
she kept her crown on the whole time i was giving her birthday sex
Worst relationship ever. Keep in mind I've dated two married chicks and a Mormon.
He keeps whispering to me that he can't wait to tie my hands up with my wig?
I got laid and laid off at a conference in long beach all on the same day
Eh. They balance each other out
OPIZZABONMYDICK
I'm going to avoid eye contact because my old high school English teacher is not who I feel like seeing after I just had a dick in my mouth
just pleasured myself to USA hockey beating Russia in the shoot out. god bless America.
Woke up and took my pants off only to realize that I was wearing my shirt from last night as my underwear
I have to choose between charging my phone or my vibrator. This is bullshit.
Forget work, lets run away, rob banks, and have kinky sex with fuzzy handcuffs.
IT'S LIKE YOU READ MY MIND.
I put the child locks on after I put you in the car and you then screamed, "I am a Phoenix, you can't restrain me. I NEED TO FLY!"
Randomize
