: south campus drug res life name erik. Love, tran
does your mom think i'm crazy? i just realized i played both the gay dad and the ex-jew card tonight. i blame the wine
I introduced my face to asphalt last night. They didn't get along.
You went to church with your boobs hanging out?
Theyr'e a gift from god, I figured I should show him i'm using them well.
Trying to take a shit right now to the beat of the fuckin drumcircle outside... It's not goin well
Right... Let's keep my vodka tinged mind focused on simple words
I'm convinced that college is the only place where one can have an existential crisis over what sweatpants to wear
He went THROUGH MY PHONE (he's 30 for God sake) then asked me why I was stringing along 12 guys... I told him he could have just asked me if I was banging other people and then saved himself from looking at pics of dicks bigger than his.
Sometimes I just want to serenade his penis with cheesy 80s songs.
Suffice to say, I think if people ask about your bruises, and you look them right in the eye, and say "they're from fucking...", people would be like, "respect."
Dude mama brought home the bacon, i got his HBO account i guess that makes up for his by par skills in bed.
You weren't stupid you just made an ass of yourself. It's called a birthday party. That's code for night of regrets.
I lost my virginity to Adventure Time. DO YOU NOT UNDERSTAND THE SIGNIFICANCE?!
His name isnt in my phone as “Satan’s spawn” for no reason. #devildick
I just put a pill up my vagina. It was little like a quail egg. There is so much happening up there right now.
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