quick i need to know how implid consent works for golf carts
too late i think im gettin a gcui
one might say we're banned from that church
I did that thing again where I get way too drunk and go gay. Then wake up in the morning and freak out at the person. Yet another bar I cannot go back to
oh btw spread eagle is not an appropriate phrase to use in a scientific presentation. learned that the hard way
Dancing like a fucking crazy person to jai ho with a snow ball in her hand. Snow days make her go nuts.
Hit a parked car with a "property of Jesus Christ" bumper sticker. Wrote out five hail mary's and left it on the windshield.
Whatever. We're stealing a penguin. Your not allowed near him... You did this to yourself.
Just wanna let u know that we are almost on the pity blow job level of our friendship.
My dad just decided to play wingman for me... I dont want to let the family down... but both these girls are hideous
The police woke me up so they had no choice but to see my morning wood.
You know when you meet a penis that looks like it was made out of all your hopes and dreams?
That's the last time I send a mass text invitation to smoke a blunt
Dude, fate has brought her to your penis.
I have two bottles of emergency tequila stashed under my desk at work.
...this is why fuck buddies should be only for grownups.
Randomize
