I feel kinda awkward using the Sesame Street themed Google to search for hot young pussy...
Just woke up on a dolphin floaty wearing only a party hat. There's blood on the side of the pool and glass in the sauna. Worst fucking hangover. But some guy said he is making crepes so its ok
his penis was the training wheels of my sex life
I need to stop having one night stands with guys in my building so I can have someone to borrow milk from without it being awkward
Weird we were more concerned with sharing our germs than tag teaming the blow job?
I am literally using a balloon as a pillow on a park bench.
So my OCD kicked in and I cleaned his kitchen. His roommates were so grateful, they tried to pay me in weed.
YOU ACCEPTED, RIGHT?
She was literally passed out in a cubicle with a flask in her hand. I LOVE finals week!
It was awful. Their identical twins so it was like having sex with Jeff wearing a wig and shaved legs.
exactly. I want him to have to live with the fact that he fucked me. I want him to look me in the eye and say "you were a drunken mistake".
it wasn't until he got that douchey haircut that i started regretting sleeping with him
I'm pretty sure male strippers are the last things I need in my life right now.
So apparently there is enough alcohol to get me to agree to going to a strip club, but when I have enough they don't let me in.
I'm asking you this because you're my dad....is coke a drug I should try?
Why did two squirrels just run out from behind the couch?
About that.
Randomize
