I'm pretty sure there is a country song about this exact situation
She's sitting on the couch buck naked, eating a cupcake for dinner. I'm breaking new ground as a parent here.
So, does it mean i'm loose if he can't even tell when he fell out?
I may be the first guy in history to get dome while watching An Extremely Goofy Movie.
at russian wedding, no open bar. bottles of vodka at table. getting to work tomorrow may be an issue.
I have now added draft and wells specials that different bars have to my blackberry calendar.. Help me.
I asked for a steak knife but the waitress could see in my eyes it was a bad idea
There's a drag queen here that reminds me strongly of you. You should try crossdressing.
I asked him why the bed was wet and got.."well there are two options... and its not you."
My CPA just snapchatted me a picture of her playing beer pong at a picnic. Time to do my own taxes?
We have a lot of substance abuse to do tomorrow its sleep time
Why did I wake up to a snap chat of myself drinking beer out of a blender?
I don't really feel bad about it, but I legit just squirted in the back of an Uber and it makes me think how many times has this happened before?!?!
You can't be mad... I'm letting you jerk off in my parents shower
Few clarical questions about last night: 1. How did we get home? 2. Am I wearing your underwear? 3. Where is Andrea? 4. Guy with nose ring last night hot?
1. You tried hitch hiking "like a pro" and flashed cars while sticking out your thumb until I called Michael. 2. I don't know but probably. 3. Who is Andrea? 4. Hot.
Randomize
