Hands down the best time I've ever had barfing.
never have phone sex with a hardcore republican during this health care crisis . just dont.
Straightened my pubes. My dick looks like John Lennon fucked Gonzo.
oh my god i just remembered the cat blow jobs.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
my fraternity brothers just had an intervention for me. i either have a problem or am just on some next-level shit, im gonna go with door number 2
I would do laundry with you but I vaguely remember swallowing all my quarters last night as some kind of trick.
wearing my roomate's scarf as a dress...halloween 2011 ladies and gentlemen
He just remixed a spongebob song with 2 chainz..... Clearly I love him
GOIN TO BED BEFORE TEQUILA BLEEDS FROM MY EYEBALLS
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I know you're on a date and I should leave you alone but about twenty minutes ago I realized I haven't been spanked in years so if you're still looking for a birthday present, you know, consider it.
of course the one day I come to class high we have guest speakers from the police department... Just my luck
I made out with a guy so that I could get ahead in the bathroom line, totally acceptable
I never thought my selfie stick would come in handy for nudes.
Although the guy I'm messing around with just offered to let me be his rich brother's sugar baby
Got pulled over today for going 90 in a 40 zone with my leg out of the window. Still got out of the ticket. I'm getting way too good at this. Wanna trade bodies so we can see if it's my boobs or my charm?
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