those bitches were sniggering at my man-pris like they were goddesses of fashion!
...dude i pray you are quoting something, someone, anyone...
twelve hours since my last beer and i just blew a .08, time to go to the library
I just had to ask my dad for money to pay for my birth control. I've hit financial rock bottom.
Her parents walked in on us. So for my birthday they bought me a blow-up doll with their daughters face on it. I don't know what to think right now.
The fire alarm went off at 3 am in the freshmen dorm. So guess which junior everyone now knows is hooking up with a freshman? This girl...
We were messing around at his place it was going fine until he said, "I'm going to cum, hand me the shot glass"
The bald eagles cry cause u drink canadian beer.
Just tapped my penis on the head and said "this will be your year buddy."
You know it's going to be a good night when you're barking by 8:20.
Woke up with a text saying "when I get to see them titties again lil ma??" With 8 beads around my neck & an empty bottle of vodka in my arms.
That was the night, like, my hair caught on fire...
He just unloaded a dump truck full of red flags on my head.
Also- should we send out holiday cards? That say, "Eat a dick, 2014"?
dude, totally just walked home...using pizza as gloves
Hey, I'm sleeping in your car...lol just knock on the window in the morning
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