Just saw a car with license plate GYPSYS that was full of gypsies
people should stop making movies, we'll never top bio-dome.
Yes. Being a lesbian's wingman is a fun as it sounds
positive spin of the day: since my nose is blocked from allergies cleaning the puke this morning was much easier
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
There is a bottle of ciroc waiting graciously on my breakfast table. It's almost a sign for me to live up to my Russian blood.
I tried to bribe him with road head and his toothbrush.
So a sorority girl just introduced herself to me by saying "a guy I used to fuck just threw up on me" and then she grinded on me
I seem to have forgotten that I am wearing a one piece bathing suit under my clothes
Would it be weird to tell him that on his b'day he's dressing up and we're having weird Jesus sex?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Say what you will, but only I can throw up on someone's door and make it look like art.
That's the last time I'm letting you drink that apple vodka
i think ive reached a prime reproductive point in my life or somethin- i see gingers and all i want to do is have their babies. like my body knows that i have a to carry on a legacy
well at least you didn't have your nipples chewed last night
I think my sex life is about to turn into a war on two fronts
Just cuz I'm recovering alcoholic does NOT make me the taxi for you every weekend
Cum just came out of my nose. That is all.
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