He said he used to draw on the walls with poop when he was a kid.
I went down on her for at least a half hour, She loved it, so I thought she'd recip. She said "I only do that if I know I'm getting something out of it."
SHUT IT DOWN.
I just heard a guy scream "it must be five o' clock!!" and another guy screamed "somewhere!!!" out from different balconies.
You are an asshole
haha sleeping beauty awakes.
Where did you find this costume?
Within 5 minutes of max walking in his pants were off and he was wearing my snow goggles as underwear.
And then he proceeded to take my heartbeat, because apparently that tells him whether I was faking or not...
i think if i got caught drinking at work i could get away with it if i started crying and saying my cat just died. as long as i'm confident.
You can drink as much as you want but it's not gunna make her forehead any smaller
I was hoping it might at least fix her teeth
My night ended with Em alternately crying and throwing up in the arms of a guy wearing a cutoff and a tiara. I sat holding a garbage can and wine glass full of water wondering how our night got to this point.
Had a crazy moment last night. Had to get up, run to bathroom, pop 3 Xanax, sit on bathroom floor and rock myself in fetal position. Not my best moment.
I can already tell, the amount of fun I'm having right now is not nearly going to compensate for the amount of "let us never speak of this again" I'm gonna have tomorrow
I'm never going out with the ashleys again. it was whoreible. terrifyingly whoreible.
I wonder if go pro can customize a cock ring so I don't have to hold the camera anymore
He walked in on me masturbating and on my phone but got mad because I wasn't watching porn just tweeting
Wow. I hope you were either doing that in your sleep or blacked out. You threw up then covered yourself in duct tape... i wish i got that on camera
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