I am more sore today than I was after my car wreck. Take it as a compliment that you bang harder than a semi-truck.
The only comparison I have for the iPhone is that it's like youre constantly getting a blow job
He came in asked for the bathroom and came out 10 minutes later dripping wet took his redbull and left.
Time to do stuff I know I'll have to hide from my grandkids one day and everyone at next weekends wedding.
I just want a guy that likes cats and is willing to get a vasectomy. IS THAT SO MUCH TO ASK?!
Today's work quote "if I looked like you, I'd be sitting on everyones face"
Did you blow the guy you weren't supposed to hook up with again in the bathroom of pita pit? Cause that happened last night...
they had to hand cuff you because you wouldn't stop trying to unzip the paramedic's pants...this is why i love you
I just realized I'm the burger in your burger and steak anology. Very disconcerting.
I only see on penis in this picture but I assume there is another lurking out of sight.
is leaving the club to fk in his friends van subtle?
Beat the bartender in a shot challenge for a free tab. I won that, and him. I never get tired of the "this is my first time with a guy.." bullshit.
How do you even...
The magic of Christmas. And whiskey, of course.
you never know what sharing a kayak could lead to
It's true
My greatest accomplishment today was eating a box of Thai food the size of a toddler.
It's pretty self explanatory. You tried to have sex on the hood of a car in front of everyone
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