I think we should see other people.
Already working on it.
It's 9:30am and I've already blown three loads. Reason #101 I love 25 year old girls.
even the AIR tastes like tequila.
It's what America was founded on: former hookups referring you for a job four years later.
It was awful. Mid hookup he started reading the titles of the books over my bed, which were about Russian imperial history. He then started asking me questions about the class I was reading the books for. I was like "WE HAVE TIME FOR THAT LATER, PLEASE CONTINUE."
She's the worst person, but the best naked person
Hamster emergency. Can u come in here
guys with girlfriends don't have a leg to stand on when they get mad at you for fucking other guys
I got a 5/5 with my "I don't want a baby" rant essay. She said my use of the word "leeches" was a powerful metaphor :)
we were making out in my truck and while she was straddling me she informs me that she jerks off horses for a living. Should I be concerned or flattered?
Dude I just realized i did a camper walk of shame in front of amish people. I should have asked for cheese and a home made pie to cover it up. Im just lost shopping in amish country nothing to see here
There is a special place in hell for people who only eat the center of the pot brownies.
Pretty sure keeping my vibrator in the same drawer with the weed makes it work better. I fall asleep almost immedi
OMG I accidentally abducted a cat. Now there is a cat in my apartment. I NEED TO UNDO WHAT I HAVE DONE
We are taking a shrt nap on the sidewalk cme fine me if you want but dont wake me up
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