Its like Laser Tag, but more fun because it ends in sex
u ever jackoff with ur legs spread and pretend ur fuckin urself as a girl and get mad u'll never know what that feels like. Or to fly like a bird?
Did u absorb a fraternal twin in the womb?
I mean, he was my book buddy in 1st grade. The kid taught me how to read, the least I could do was give him head.
I feel like college is just one giant drunken trip to Taco Bell
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since i'm not going, you must continue my tradition of flashing every person there.
We had on the same team jersey so at the time it made sense to hook up.
Duh.
You're such an expert partier. I feel like 22-year-old recent graduates should have to intern with you.
I'm a pro at the other 9-5
Goodbye spring break, hello depressing video on AIDS.
Like I actually don't feel all that great but the fact that I'm not projectile vomiting at work makes life seem so magical
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Btw had an awesome time last night. Found some blood on my shirt and ear but I'll chalk it up to the tequila shots.
I wish you looked at me the way you looked at my brothers penis
Idk my boobs are big but i dont think theyre hide a flask in them big..
Shit. My boss is having me meet and greet with the new doc upstairs. Do you think his doctor powers will detect that I'm still high?
Vegas never ceases to amaze me. Hung out with a stripper from ATL all night and got nuthin, but the next night meet a bride-to-be who gives me a bj in the elevator.
I need you to get the emergency bail money out if the stuffed panda and go to the police station tot bail me out. I should be there in 20 minutes.
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