you just kept swimming in circles and whenever someone would try and coax you out you would scream "i CANNOT drown, my brother is the supervisor of a water park!!
If he's dead I'm so gonna get the blame. I have his passport, keys and his tooth in my purse.
Anything that comes outta your cooch is bound to be breathtaking
That could use a little rephrasing
So we'll go out later for condoms and cake batter... aka grocery shopping for champions.
my binge eating and her being stoned all the time has reduced us to a bowl of chinese candies, frozen bacon and a stick of butter, we do however have enough alcohol to start our own liquor store.
Dude, Donte totally wants it. I don't have any idea how I do it. I'm not even cool. I'm not even the hero Gotham deserves. I'm barely high. My hands are swelling. Want me to pick you up anything from five guys?
Had to immediately delete the Bevmo email because I can't even look at an email about alcohol right now.
I convinced a German girl that I was born while my mom was water skiing and I preceded to barefoot ski behind her via the umbilical cord...
We can talk about your dick in my throat after a decision is made, this is my hair we're talking about. .. shit's important.
Sorry that I got drunk and refused to let you buy me pizza. I'm a monster and I understand if you hate me forever
I need ecstasy. And, before you ask, the answer is yes right now
Yep that's the face of someone whose dick I would put in my mouth without hesitation
Vomit your little heart out. You've got a long day tomorrow
I used your vibrator when you were out of town. Now I know why you always come out of your room smiling.
Details are irrelevant. Come bail me out of jail.
Randomize
