i'm 85% sure that if you don't visit me i will do something awkward and potentially dangerous to you in your sleep involving chocolate milk and a sham-wow.
I could write a book called "things that come out of my vagina"
a girl in my class is on a twilight fan site and running her fingers on the screen as edwards body comes up.
your drunk mistake has arrived...he is the one wearing a poncho
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Dude Eric's high and buying everyone taquitos. How much room do we have in the freezer?
bad sex. bad bad bad. it was like trying to pick up an overcooked noodle with an empty pringles can. why do these guys always seem to find me?
If she says "This is how acid feels" one more time I'm never trip-sitting them again.
I went home with a guy last night because he showed me some magic tricks and kept shouting "THEY'RE ILLUSIONS MICHAEL!"
I always thought The Big Bang Theory wasa terrible show but that was before it came with blowjobs and pizza.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I think we have it figured out.. She's my wife when she's here and gives me advise on how to get ass when she's 1500 miles away.
Like I thought me shitting my pants was bad today... Then the election happened.
Judging from the sharpie on my face, glitter on my chest and women's tiger print panties i'm wearing last night was a thing.
I'm hungover and in a fort. And I hate you.
So many questions
Saw my doctor at the bar. He bought me a drink. I think he was looking up my medical record on his phone because he suddenly had to go. syphilis continues to fuck with my life
I love random hookups in covid sex. Usually girls think me about a one and a half to a two and a half but now that I got this mask on I'm a Solid 6.
Randomize