I think condoms have that nasty latex smell to remind you in the morning of how gross you are.
i wish peter jackson would direct porn
Give me a heads up the next time you BBM me a voicenote of you cumming so I'll make sure not to play it while in the car with my parents. Miss you too.
I envy you so much. I get girls who pee on my floor and you get girls who leave in the middle of the night
He had to pee in the sink beside my head because the girl that I was taking care of was passed out on the toilet. To answer your question: yes i took a peek. Thats why we hooked up later.
He sent me $300 worth of sex toys. My clitoris went into hiding after two days.
You peed in my camelbak and said it was a reverse catheter. Not cool.
But mostly fuck him senseless. Render him speechless. Have him look at my vagina and wonder, "WHAT SORCERY IS THIS?!"
Don't come. It's not even a party it's a total sausage fest. Like 20 drunk dudes in a bedroom. We can still drink by ourselves though it'll be ok
I woke up and found cookies in my purse. It's a 12/12/12 miracle.
she used her teeth again, but this time it was out of love
Is Facebook telling the truth about your nipples?!
Woke up with a lip tattoo that says "fake news" in case you're wondering about my wellbeing
I threw up in the middle of a bar last night and still managed to get laid! Happy thanksgiving!
Until you've snorted cocaine at 6am before your nursing school clinicals birthing babies you're not on my level
Randomize
