i'm so hungover...i might vomit in a handbag instead of selling them
Nothing screams don't date me louder then having your baby as your profile pic
Walk of Shame time yet?
Dude she's 6"2, blonde and on the cheerleading team. I look like Seth Rogen's fatter, unfunny brother. What shame am I supposed to be feeling?
Why did you come into my room last night at 3am and pour monopoly money on me while you were crying?
He just showed up to brunch with one shoe and only the battery from his phone.
i never thought i could drink so much vodka in 8 minutes
Ur gonna wake up early as dick tomorrow to do some responsible shit but im the one up at 3 am right now cooking brats soaked in keystone light so fuck your falling asleep ass bitch
They reenacted the scene from the lion king where mufasa talked to simba from the clouds. As high as they were they got it word for word. There has to be an award for that.
Queso dip and pictures of Daniel's penis. It's like the last days of Rome over here.
Stripping out of my teacher clothes to Talk Dirty to Me. Who let me become a teacher?
For a man with no legs he was surprisingly good at doggy style.
I don't know whether to high-five you or stage an intervention.
You're going to find someone that you love very much and that loves you, and then you're gonna find an additional person that you literally can't stop staring at from across the room. I feel very confidently about that
probably because i sent a bunch of guys a snap saying happy one year to my nipple piercings
If I don't get alcohol poisoning from tonight I don't think i ever will.
We made a blanket fort in my dorm room and fucked in it. Twice. I'm in love.
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