I need to shower the guilt off of my thighs.
It's not a real calculator it's a math calculator
I dunno... she just cried a lot and I kept sighing.
but his dog just died...ill send him an edible arrangement or a 6 pack or something
All he wants to do is masturbate while I sit there with my big toe up his ass that is not even the worst part of it.
bah. we'll see. don't give yourself a boner of false hope.
You wanted to thank my penis. You wanted me to take the condom off so you could touch it and thank it.
he just sat there, in the doorway of my dorm room, chuggin a fifth like nobodys buisness.. don't know whether to fuck him or be afraid of his confidence
So apparently we wrote "Lube Shopping" in Paula's diary on every friday for the rest on the year....
I guess, all I remember was giving you road head the whole way there so you wouldn't fall asleep.
I decided staying home, watching porn and masterbating was a much better choice than the gym. And I was right.
40s are totally the cure
I walked in and found you petting your fish outside the bowl, you said its fine, you do this all the Time.
I should probably eat a Plan B. Pill for breakfast. Happy Halloween.
Pretty sure I'm partying in a onesie right now.
Randomize
