butt plug
anus plug
rubbish cock?
yes
you suck at this game today
everyone contributed. i held her hair back, he rubbed my vag... it was a team effort.
It happened again. Now theres even more baby powder and its all over the place, I'm not cleaning that house.
He's spent his last 3 years working at Urban Outfitters. No, I'm not sad I missed out on a life of mustaches, the dollar menu and shitty scarves.
I think my whole family judged my ability to change under a blanket.
In a moving vehicle and other people in the car
You okay?
I walked into work with a banana and a loaf of bread
i dont know how he's 22 and thinks emoticons will get him laid. lady boner just died.
Rick just drank rum out of a dog bowl after a dog already drank out of it.
There's a guy here who is improvising his own shadow dance on a table against the wall, in case you're wondering how my night is going
Two days later and my throat is still sore. That bong is a double edged sword.
Dude I should have just gone home with the guy with dreads and the cat
I just slipped on ice and peed on my pea coat. There's a pun there but I'm too sad to make it
Strip club or gay bar tonight?
I am an emotionally compromised bisexual.
why the fuck is there hamburger meat in the toaster. i repeat: WHY THE FUCK IS THERE HAMBURGER MEAT IN MY NEW TOASTER
Honey you are a beautiful woman but I came over to eat your pizza and fuck your brother. And you're out of pizza.
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