All time low... just gave a strip tease to the theme song from Law&Order SVU.
I don't know what's more sad: The fact that he fingered the side of my leg, or the fact that the side of my leg feels like a vagina.
How was your sisters wedding?
Oh, I didn't go. I slept through my alarm. I finally woke up and was like...I don't think so.
sisterhood ftl.
I just googled maps his house, and took the virtual tour back to my apartment, just so I could visualize the walk of shame in the morning
standing in the yard with no pants on waiting for google maps to come and take a picture.
Sex should be hot, sweaty, messy, and a little painful. At no point should it involve tiny rocks
and then he proceeded to take what he called, a whip cream shower.
Dude this stripper just dry humped the settings off my phone. She earned that dollar
He came, while we were making out fully clothed. I'm going to write a book.
You pulled me aside and handed me a plastic childrens' tea cup full of 151 and said "trust me its a great idea"
making out was so insane. it felt like our tongues were paintbrushes made of waves and we were painting an ocean galazy
Doing lines off a plate that says, "things go better with coke."
I just pulled the nickels from earlier out of my bra in class. The guy next to me is either terrified or intrigued.
Please don't call my dad a fuckpuppet, I feel like that would be awkward to explain later.
Where does dick fit into Maslow's hierarchy of needs?
Randomize
