butt plug
anus plug
rubbish cock?
yes
you suck at this game today
i did the 'picked up item' thing from zelda when i jizzed on her face
so you're single again?
yea but it was worth it
zippers are such a cool invention
Yeah i wasn't gonna go out but then i was like im not gonna get my dick wet stayin at home studying
winter break is going to suck... i have to put away my college personality and transform into who my parents think i am.
so he made me dinner last pm @whch point i askd if i could help out. he hands me his fucking laundry and asks me 2 do it
only you. it could only happen to you.
at which point I apparently ran in and shouted "I made the sex with that one!"
He poured all of the vodka into the sweet tea and said that tomorrow it would be called 'surprise drunk.' then we had sex.
They have an open bar at this baby shower. I was born to be Cuban.
note to self: an IV pole is no substitute for a stripper pole. Written it on my ankle cast.
Scratch that. Good bye liver, good bye clothes, good bye dignity. Hello awesome weekend
Well for number 40 i would prefer to at least like the guy attached to the dick
I'm proud of you, you were pretty classy last night, you didn't puke AND you didn't take off your shirt, except for those two times in the corner.
So apparently someone caught him as he was falling. And carried him around the rest of the night.
You kept asking us from the backseat if you were driving ok and then you kept talking to your hiccups and yelling at them to "stop it already!"
Randomize
