He saved me in his phone as Easy Jen. Should I be offended?
I wouldn't worry about it. He has me as "Sex Puppet."
my "about me" section on Facebook should read "hell-bound alcoholic who wants to fuck a 40-year-old crackhead"
My moms helping me unpack but im getting a little nervous because I dont remember where i put my dildo
Last night was an abortion. I might need a publicist.
I just bought a large Pizza and Xanex in the same store...my night is complete
she just announced that once she was paid to deep throat a light saber with a mint flavored condom on it. i'm speechless.
He asked if I wanted to leave my bra on while we were doing it from behind bc he read somewhere that all that pounding can be painful for big breasts. THAT thoughtful.
My New Years Resolution is to come up with a new resolution monthly. January: decrease my shotgunning consumption speed to 7 seconds or less.
Outta milk. Using rum instead for pancake mix. Drunk Thursday is a gooo
i had choclate birthday cake for breakfast and am currently flossing my teeth w a condom wrapper. at work. hot mess for 200 alex
If you're wondering why you have playpen balls it's because we stopped at chuckie cheese on the way home.
Oh yea... In other news I've decided to get an external hard drive and start getting music from all the guys I'm fucking... Do you think a terabyte would be enough storage space?
It's a "nonproductive" (vocab word) cough. It's like a constant tickle in my throat, like there's a little elf with feathers for feet going Gangnam style on my "uvula" (vocab word).
I saved a note for myself but all it said was "am I a slutty Holden Caulfield?"
Why is everyone giving me a hard time for drinking?!
Your in the library.
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