there's paper in my vomit.
Contrary to what peaches says, you can't fuck the pain away. Full story later. Have a good morning, buddy.
I got a bikini wax for the first time today and I think I now understand feminism.
Of course, you get to fuck all night while I'm stuck in the girls bathroom sucking a limp dick for coke
My overnight senior got drunk and hooked up with Kaylee on Sunday. I checked Facebook and he already put down his deposit for next year. This school should pay me a commission.
I like to think of them as justice herpes. She cheats on me and gets more than she bargained for.
She blew me in the back of the cab while eye of the tiger was on the radio. Top five all time automatically
Just drank an entire bottle of champagne for lunch. It's gonna be that kind of semester.
Hows cali? I thought of you as I shaved 1/4 of my legs last night.
I woke up in confetti... confetti and shame
Her roommate was talking on her cell when I came out of the bedroom and I definitely heard her describe how shitty and terrified I looked. Awesome.
Please keep in mind you are asking relationship advice from a girl who fucked a guy just because we have the same name. Just keep that in mind.
I just ate your leftovers whilst watching Garfield and Friends. Thank you across the board.
You yelled "Shame!" like you were that bitch from Game of Thrones and then hit my balls full force with your sports bra
Yeah. I hurt his pride. But he's not over it. And by it I mean me.
Randomize
