Do ugly people know they are ugly?
The quiet ones do.
there should be a rule- if you jizz on it, you wash it
I think god was stupid personally. The clit should be inside the vagina. Idiot.
champagne bombs. Yes, i think that is where things may have gotten out of control.
I told her you were a premature ejaculator. She nodded and said "Really? Wow, how long's he been a Pilot for?"
you are both the best and worst wingman ever.
Just heard a guy on the phone saying " ya ill buy the eight ball " then came to my register to ask what asile the sugar substitute is on.
he came on my stomach, took his sock off, wiped it up, put his sock back on along with his shoes and left.
Already puke and ralleyd and dressed like a bear.
Just finished putting caution tape around the tv. Sober me needs to prepare.
Dude... You called me at 3am to tell me you still had your pants.
Look at my fb. It says single. That's the gospel.
Yup on the verge of buzzed and drunk. I managed to make my way into my cat's box house to fall asleep. I'm comfortable
Yes I am wallowing. There is a significant lack of cookie dough
I'm glad he doesn't have a bigger dick because he'd just use it for evil anyway
Lady at the airport across from me just pulled a cat out of her bag. can't deal with this right now..
Randomize
