If it makes you feel better he went down on me when i had a yeast infection.
All I did today at work was try to remember in vivid detail what your cock looks like.
I'm currently blowing up the downstairs bathroom at work. I wish I could foursquare this.
I'm standing in line at the liquor store and they're making popcorn.
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I woke up naked in my bathtub at 5:30 this morning. There's legit a spray tan body print of me in the fetal position in my tub.
You're putting the star player on the bench. You dont put Michael Jordan on the bench.
Are you referring to my vagina as Michael Jordan?
I knew us throwing ourselves at him back in the day would pay off. I'm gonna b a divorcees rebound. Score!
I called him a "Beautiful Bastard" with "Beautiful Bastard Hair". That is how you pick up a guy from Denmark.
I found my limit. I will not, in fact, blow my 78 year old professor for an A in his class.
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Do they still have sex clubs in San Francisco? Because that'd be an interesting way to spend Easter.
Meh, all I have to do tomorrow is proctor an AP test. No loud noises and no physical activity allowed for almost 4 hours. Sounds like the perfect recovery period for a hangover.
I am available for nakedness
Me: I shouldn't go to the airport bar it's too expensive and I don't need it. Dark me: SHOTS AT 7 AM
I'm sorry but it's something you and your A cups wouldn't understand.
There were 16 girls and 31 titties. That’s how the club was. Lance doesn’t get to decide ever again.
Randomize