Operation extremely regretful is in full effect
No, he will live forever, like cockroaches and Jack Bauer.
well he's currently spooning the coffee table
coming out of a blackout being surrounded by Disney police was not as awesome as it sounds.
I've already agreed to hook up with 3 people tonight, and its not even 2:00 yet... I think this is what the path to success looks like.
I'm taking tokes in the bath tub, come if you want, I'm naked and you have to bring chicken nuggets or else you can't come in
I thought I was smashed last night but the girl trying to pee in the fridge had me beat. True story.
This is three metal detector wands away from being the strangest porn I have ever been in the audience for.
he woke me up with all the stuff I had at his house in boxes i had to unwrap my own belongings and he said. Happy v-day its time to see ya day! Worst day ever
We had sex in his hot tub. Then we saved a mouse that almost drown in his pool. We celebrated our heroism with more sex.
You came in last night, ate an entire avocado in silence, and then told me I should never accept rides from strangers. Not sure I even want to know what happened to you last night!
I got dropped off at my house at like 1030. Woke up hugging a street cat I've never seen before. Ended up drinking 260 oz of beer. 65 types. Then went out after blehhhhhh
Also, you fell asleep with you hand on and around my cock last night.
I have nice boobs. Don't wanna deprive anyone of the experience.
You're a saint.
I'm having to shit out rocks
Randomize
