i think i'm in class. and blacked out.
I'm like a new puppy, everybody wants to touch me
You were so drunk last night you thought you force pushed the automatic door open.
I almost masterbated to the avatar love scene ha it was so hot
Lauren she was gnawing on a dresser. Gnawing. On. A. Dresser.
I just had to give myself a pep talk to stop lying on my floor. Literally too hung over to function
you were sat in the corner crying until someone gave you a baguette, which you then tried to feed to the duck doorstop.
I regret nothing
Too much alcohol and too many lesbians. I can officially say I have regrets now. At least that's something.
Fun fact. I am at the police dept. getting served a warrant for unpaid ordinance... and the officer was a one night stand from like 10 years ago.
I sent dad a photo of my graduation certificate from drug therapy class. It was his birthday so it seemed appropriate.
You wanna get laid? Be a female for once and stop bending nails to impress guys.
I need two food groups: booze and turkey sandwiches
Oh, in response to your "does dating get better" question...I feel like penises are getting smaller nowadays. Its been several years since I saw a good 8+ incher.
Would it be weird if i sent him a "happy fuckiversary" text?
he's single and there are thong briefs.
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