Women are like Alzheimers patiens. You can compliment them a million times in a day, but the next day is always a wash, you have to start all over.
she would be the type to have more hair on her twat than on her head
she has to be all "alternative"
sorry for allegedly lighting the beer pong balls of fire
So I love how we keep introducing our friends to sex toys. It's like pay it forward vibrator edition.
Whore. There is deli meat in my wallet.
I just puked behind a tree outside work, then walked past my manager with puke in my hair. Man, I'm gonna miss this when I get a real job.
I'm just going to eat until there's an actual reason why he wouldn't want to fuck me.
I'll pay you to write the paper but not for sex. You should only get paid for something you work hard at.
I think id rather titty fuck an A cup than deal with what happened tonight again. shits depressing
I'm more worried that you thought licking a pole on Bourbon street would turn me on
As a courtesy going forward if you could not bang in my house that would be nice
I'd have to have a ring. Like I don't want to be called "the ex girlfriend that shit on me"
I just threw up into a baby carriage. There was a baby in it.
Woke up to I'm AWESOME written in purple crayon all over my walls. I love drunk me
She is crazy bro, she'll kiss me after eating her ass but looses her fucking mind if I double dip a french fry in "our" ketchup!
Randomize
