11am puke and rally. THIS is what I'm gonna miss about college.
Well I'm glad to hear the fight wasnt over his small dick.
I know I said that I'd stop dating 20 year olds... but at least this one's not my student...
JUST SAW MY DRUG DEALER SOBER AND GOING TO CLASS. This is weird, its almost like he's an actual student whio leaves his room...
Is it bad to get into the ocean at night? i always thought sharks hated the smell of vomit after drinking
What do you mean how did you end up there? You told him he had a face you'd like to ride, that's a deal sealer in any language.
I had to find out that I peed in the box of baby clothes from my mom, who found out from my grandma. New low.
It's like a challenge who can be the biggest embarrassment to the family. I win 80% of the time.
Pretending to leave a voicemail when the person answers the phone....that's gotta be drunk dial level 99
Vodka drinking games. Where you wake up next to a douche lord and see your thong in the blinds.
someone needs to name a hurricane after you
I just drunk texted the Italian guy and now I’m flooded with Shane. Uh, shame, not Shane. He sounds nice, though.
don't take this the wrong way, but I'm not drunk but I need you to take me to the ER and you're the most likely to not be drunk now.
You were filing your nipples with a nail file to "make them sharper"
he asked me for a magic BJ...is that supposed to be different from a normal BJ?
Randomize
