my dad wants uyo to call him right now...reverse drunk dialing
So i decided to deal with the awkwardness of last night by making out with all three of them
My cousin just told me i smelled good. She must like the smell of cum.
whore
She accidentally pre-ordered us Dominos for the next day at 11:30am... we were very confused when we woke up.
..and it was like all of a sudden I could hear the sounds my brain was making
I went up to get a drink from the hotel room. And ended up getting arrested in the lobby. Spring break has not been forgiving this year.
I have a cut on my head from a tambourine.
I love that my idea of a romantic gesture to you is to send you a picture of my vomit saying "wish you were here". You voluntarily dated me. For six years ish.
I told my doctor about us having twin chlamydia
So I walked in on her and she had taped her fingers together and was crying and was whispering something about "how humbling it is being in constant glove mode"
I asked him if we were going to get arrested for doing it in the bar parking lot. "Absolutly not" said the guy getting the blow job...
I never realized how weird our shower smells until I cracked a shower beer and had a familiar aroma to compare it to.
I didn't even respond. Just letting the crazy settle before I calmly fuck his shit up.
I'm glad we smoked together,that was probs the biggest sibling bonding we will ever have.
Did u guys seriously make a betting pool on when im going to get pregnant???
Yep, wanna bid?
Randomize
