So would u like to explain why you ate all my pickels and took my 1800?
About that, i have your 1800 on my desk with intentions of returning it but theres nothing i can do about the pickels
I've been thinking and really it's a miracle I haven't had an STD yet.
It says i should accept HIV aids as my friend on facebook.We have 12 friends in common. I need new friends.
Henry's handball, Tiger Wood's Car Crash, Roger Federer losing ... That's it....I'm throwing my Gillete away
so i told him i have my period and he put his head by my vagina and said "I HATE YOU!"
he was sobbing,drinking his beer, all while confessing his love for her. awkward was an understatement...
just found out i fit into magnum condums. this is going to be the best weekend ever
Hmm. I hear gunshots, car horns blaring, hear drunk white people screaming, and see about fifty status updates pertaining to the hawks. I guess they won.
Apparently someone switched my cash for monopoly money after midnight so I couldn't get any more drinks at the bar
Just got a free shot w my beer...it's not quite 11am yet...I love international travel. These people aren't judgmental.
The paramedics came back to shotgun beers with us.
There's an old guy having a conversation with his penis in the bathroom right now.
This Asian instant coffee I found in ur kitchen is like crack. Who knew I could feel my heart beating in my asshole after one cup of this happiness.
I can always count on you to keep my boobs honest
I don’t know how to sext. What do you say? What do you don’t say?
Just start quoting WAP lyrics.
Randomize
