Somehow I managed to make my Dunkin Donuts uniform look slutty. And I'm not even wearing hoops.
just peed on my foot to get a spider off. that lazy.
you handled that situation with as much grace as someone puking involuntarily could
He went around feeding all the high kids pretzels. He's like their god now
I woke up with like grass burns all over my body, i'm pretty sure i made out with someone under a bus. . . but i'm not sure
how are things with the new girl?
good, we have nothing in common but she likes being choked
I went to look at my notes for my take home final and all I had written was 'you're on E. You won't remember a damn thing anyway.'
Well who could blame her. I would run away from me if I could.
Ultimate Fighter Idea. You and I both have unprotected sex with the same girl in the spam of days. Whoever the child belongs to, wins and that child is the ultimate ultimate fighter.
How high are you?
I made him an O's fan. One pic of my tits coming out of a Baltimore shirt and it was done.
We're having Wednesday-night goat-night at the bar.
It's hard to explain...
If you sleep with him again I'll have you spayed
She just walked out of her bedroom naked and asked me to help put her diaper on. Yeah, that pretty much sums up the last 24 hours...
I want to conceive our bastard child on an athletic field. Why can't we make this happen?
I'm with jana at walgreens picking out penis rings.... Did you know they sell vibrators at walgreens? Wtf?
Randomize
