I want to take things slow emotionally, but fast physically
I seriously might throw up right now. In class. Sunglasses on. I'm getting too old for this.
Whiskey shot with bacon bits, our version of Goldschlager WE ARE TRYIN IT.
He makes me want to shower. It must be love.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
let me drop the bass on your empty vagina syndrome
I still don't like him. I'm also filled with alcohol, so I'll revisit the statement in the morning.
You made out with him a lot. Almost as much as you told everyone Paul was the zamboni guy.
I have suspicion of morning wood.
How are you unsure as to the current state of your penis?
We had sex and he ended up in the hospital... don't know if I should be worried or proud.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
well I got an eye infection from a stripper motorboating me but overall it was a great weekend
There were containers of weed in the piñata. How much more Colorado does it get
He asked me if I want to play Uber Driver, is this some new sex game or is he drunk and asking for a ride home?
So, my eyeglasses somehow ended up in my nightstand drawer and they're covered in lube.
MDMA, margaritas, mashed potatoes and ice cream aren't keto Kristin
I resent the implication of a jizz addiction
Randomize