He seems like he has feelings, which is completely unacceptable; esp for a boy in college.
theres still like 7 beers in the gutter from the roof party we had last night. i dont know how we got up there. but we need to get those beers down.
Any idea who the guy in my bed tagged as rattlesnake dick might be?
i think i had to give the cab driver my id to get home last night because i couldnt talk.
Your expertise in crazy bitches is needed.
What has two arms, one testicle and no credit card debt? This guy.
My goal for tonight is to swipe my debit card through those weird rolls on the back of a big bald guy's head.
And then you proceeded to sneak behind thee bar and hold up an empty bottle of vodka and scream LOOK WHO THE BARTENDER IS NOW BITCH!
If I never see my landlord's dick again, it'll be too soon.
I was gonna buy a KIA, but then I remembered how awesome the sex was in the back of a Hyundai so I went with that.
a victory without nudity is not really a victory
I made a bucket list last night. Number 5: Will marry a wizard.
But unlike the human Walter the plant Walter will someday grow to satisfy my needs
I used to shoot steroids in my ass but for a totally different reason
Slept with a member of the band last night, found out today after extensive stalking he’s engaged. Pro tip: don’t research one night stands.
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