Go study a dick amy that's outrageous
I was drunk at peters. now im drunk at my apartment. and hungry. but mcdonalds is broken. wtf
okay so using the row boat as a giant snow sled probably wasn't the best idea.
I'm sorry. I really don't see what's wrong with pregaming before a wine tasting.This champagne won't drink itself.
The wine tasting is just for charity anyways...
You were outside the bathroom the gay guy was puking in, screaming "IT GETS BETTER!" over and over again. Good message, poor execution.
Clearly the ONLY reason why you were voted employee of the month is because of your upside-down beer funneling skills.
Dude walks in wearing jean shorts and a graphic tshirt and goes home with an attractive female. EXPLAIN YOURSELF UNIVERSE.
You decided it was too difficult to walk down the stairs so you just rolled across his kitchen floor laughing like a maniac and trying to drink at the same time
Sobered up midsex and just went with it. After he tried cuddling and I awkwardly rolled out of the bed to find someone on the floor, apparently it was his room so he got to listen.
It's official. Those are now your come fuck me flipflops
I need a moral compass that doesn't always point to dick
Have you ever gotten so angry that you stripped in public?
I just spent 45 minutes and a really well-put together Power Point trying to convince her to use my dog as baby Jesus in her church's play.
Should I put the spider I likely swallowed in my sleep into my calorie tracker?
I’ve officially bought the ticket for my future dick appointment 😂
Randomize
