I'm going to use my one free fuck up card tonight.
What'd you do?
Its more like what im about to do.
so i had a choice between studying for my physics test on fluid dynamics or spend the night with my girlfriend. hello doubletasking.
You look like a girl that would like strip clubs
how come the more i say "don't get it in my eyes," the more gets in my eyes
I lost my virginity in that bed. You just layed in history.
we ate a 40 pack of string cheese and watched an entire washing machine cycle.
I was greeting people at my door feeding them jello shots out of an ice cube tray with a spoon.
only clue right now is the orange grease all on my clothes. debit card denied so I know something weird went down..
no im not bringing booze its easy, you just challenge a drunk guy to beer pong, he'll hand you two beers, you lose on purpose, and everyone makes fun of you. but we laugh in the end for bringing nothing to a byob
fat people need to stop using the handicapped bathroom stall so I can have sex in it. it's common logic
I don't know but this 12 year old kid is soaking up all of our bad morals like a super tampon on the second day of my period
I do believe that seeing camel toe in leopard print pants at Walmart is the closest I will ever come to going on a safari
Any idea why the fuck i would replace all the music on my ipod with the fucking Goosebumps theme song?!?
Apparently drunk you is really nostalgic?
I just want to drink bourbon and have sex and then eat like, a Christmas cookie.
I was a psycho gf all the time...I'm sorry
I was drunk 90% of the time...tit for tat
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