You should really come over right now. There's hot construction workers across the street. I'm gonna go pour beer on myself in a bikini on the sidewalk. See you in 5?
Either way you look at it, I'm a slut. But either way I look at it, I'm having a fucking blast.
Were gonna hotbox in the trunk. I think there's room for another half of a person if you're interested
Ice cream: Good. Fraternity: Good. Eating ice cream off a Skid Row bum's ass crack in order to get into a Fraternity: Homoerotic at best. I quit.
Dude shes not that fat. Plus, last night I probably would've done it too.
Made eye contact with his twin sister the day after he gave me a lifechanging blowjob. Do you think she knows?
He said that I started crying after sex because he was leaving to go back to Europe after the semester was over and I wouldn't see his dick anymore. This is why I need to stop hooking up with the exchange students.
Dude at the bar last night came into the bathroom, drop kicked the stall open and start saying lines from happy Gilmore as he was shitting, "go in your home! Are you too good for your home?!"
So I'm already mostly naked in a kind of bed but obviously too lazy to take my boots off. It's like January 1st is already here
Being on probation is a nice change of pace. It's refreshing to wake up and know what I did last night.
Yeeah, I think a threesome is one of those wedding presents you can't register for at Bed Bath And Beyond..
When are your genitals available?
Damn victory sex feels great
While we were doing it he looked up at me and said "Does your husband fuck you this good?" Talk about a mood killer....
someone found a bottle of whiskey in the bushes this morning when they were cleaning before an admissions event. i'm 95% sure it's mine..
Randomize
