I love how you are more concerned with what i call my penis than the fact i wanna bone some high school chicks
Dude, at this rate we're going to get arrested a second time tonight.
First night in the new apartment. There are 12 people here i don't know, Tequila, and a crying girl locked in our bathroom. I think the apartment christening is complete.
I took the chef home. His dick even tasted like garlic
I can hear her blowing you man. All I hear is her saying 'yeah' over and over again.
We should reintroduce naked Mondays
at wine tasting. Can i cleanse my Palate with a frito?
Shits getting dirty between us in her dad's bedroom. I'm talking early millennium rap and r&b
He ran over from the bar to give me more singles because the stripper was doing gymnastics on me. He is a really great friend, just probably not the best boyfriend.
They were so big her bra clasped in the front. Didn't even know those existed.
I'm shoveling snow with a camel-pack full of beer in a blizzard. I love snow days as an adult!!!
just found out that she named her cat after me.
Okay, I just got to our real hotel and the YMCA may have been a better choice. A man w/ no shirt on
and i do believe that will be the last time you send me a photograph of our mother in her underwear.
Ya it was crazy the power went just as she was about orgasm and the vibrator got fried with the power surge
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