How many ice cream sandwiches is an acceptable meal replacement?
2.5
Just met me in 10 years...this lady keeps an emergency wine cooler in her bag
His words said "save me", but his penis said "I'll take my chances"
You might have crossed the line by jerking off while she was in the bathroom taking a prego test. Just saying
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
does the cute hipster in the kitchen belong to you?
if not i want to bang those glasses off his face
I know you all think its cute to drop me off in a different state when I black out, but I can't wake up in family campgrounds asking where I am. These parents are scared.
This is gonna be a long day for my vagina and I
This morning confirmed it...there's no maybe about it. She definitely wasn't born with it. It was definitely the Maybelline.
I seriously need to grocery shop. I have a slice of cheese, and alcohol.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You cried for a while then lifted lots of weights then cady's ex put glitter on your tits and then you took a nap. I got you pizza and brought you home. Nothing too exciting.
He had all the grace of a fucking hippo and the emotional control of a five year old
Goddamn it. Hes got me addicted to his penis
Last night I crashed my housemates tinderdate, smoked his weed and then left. He felt too awkward to say no.#Empowerment
I wonder how drunk we can get before Christmas Caroling turns into trespassing.
You ripped his router out of the wall and screamed "I have defeated the matrix"
Randomize