Last night we were drunk and talking about rude things, I mentioned felching and had to explain it to everyone. Everyone was disgusted and asked how I knew about such filth and I told them you told me. Don't get mad. Also a quck heads up, you might get gifts of straws at work,
i've come to the conclusion that there is no classy way to apply chloroseptic spray to your butthole.
Because once my penis is in motion, it stays in motion unless another force acts upon it.
This morning my mouth tasted like fruit trees, battery acid, and magnums. Transferring schools was the best decision Ive ever made.
He actually has his life put together though, during the date we walked by a shoppers drugmart where my friend and I once flashed a janitor and all I could wonder was how does he not see shit show written all over me?
Can we put this graduation on the shelf figuratively and go drink
All I know is I want him to tie me up at least twice a week and I have an overwhelming urge to cook for him. Could this be love? I'm so confused....
It doesn't feel like real life when you open your hotel room door and the first person you see is wearing a rabbit costume. I'm too hungover for this.
I ran into cvs barefoot with my belt undone and shirt buttoned wrong and didn't even have to ask. The guy working pointed and said "they're back there."
That's how I look going for the pbr.
He was so high he started playing Twister on the striped rug. Then when we missed midnight he went on a screaming rampage about his New Year's Eve being meaningless. How do you think it went?
I'm getting "congrats on your engagement" shots. I need to get engaged more often!
Put a Santa hat on my junk. He's wants to be festive too.
I know EXACTLY where things went wrong with her...I didn't use Cheetos as a wooing tool.
At about 2:30 i found you passed out in my closet with your face covered in cheese whiz
Imp drunk. It'd free popcorn tuedday I love life.
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