I cant believe we actually had a nipple party!
having my hair in braids makes puking so easy. i am being an indian every halloween
what's not responsible about a pool full of beer?
My right arm is handcuffed to my leg... Please help.
Sudden realization: I dumped him because he was too immature, yet I am the one who moved back into my parent's basement post-breakup.
Just made a Xanax and ginger ale smoothie. Oh Thursday you are good to me..
The Angel on my shoulder is now resorting to merely reminding me that, "You will regret this later." I'm not sure if he's learning how I think or just giving up. Either way, should make life a bit more interesting.
We couldve played the bring a random boy to lunch game but i made him go home
Can you work for me at 4? We might have just taken some drugs we found in the couch and... end of story
i swear i just dislocated a hip staying still
It's like wanting to be a vampire vs being a vampire. You don't know the cock lust until it's infected you.
Stop your judging. I got free booze AND an oil change. You're the one whose always saying we're spending too much money.
Do not tell guys at bars about kittens you rescue. They will walk away.
I will 100% jerk off using my own tears as lube before I'd ever bang a 4.
DO NOT TOUCH THE SOAP ITS HAD SOME UNORTHODOX USES WITHIN THE PAST 15 HOURS
Randomize
