marching band practice is quite the interesting soundtrack to sex
it was like he was trying to blow his nose in my vagina
Their wedding is on my 21st birthday. I fail to see a way that this could end poorly.
Dude how the fuck are we gonna get the lawnmower outta the pool?
Somebodaw call 311 postw fire bunso on vietena floorwnkd
I guess I just got drunk and ordered a mini fridge off the internet. At least now I know the 200$ that was missing from my checking account wasn't spent on lap dances only.
True. I'd rather snort cocaine off a homeless guy then work on the weekend...Actually that may not be that bad.
I set up her keyboard so that no matter what she does, it will open up RedTube. Click and command Q all you like, its going to porn. No I play the waiting game
"YOU ALWAYS BEEN A HOE YOU ALWAYS GONE BE A HOE. THAT'S JUST THE WAY IT'S GONE BE." overheard at temple
And when I feel bad about myself I go to the library and suck my pen over an open book, counting the seconds until a guy sits across from me and tries to get my attention
Nope. Too much basics going on right now. I'm tying you both up and throwing you to the vibrating sexy toy sharks. You shall either sink or get off gloriously.
My Captain America poster fell down. Cap is disappointed in my life decisions.
I kinda forgave him after he laid next to me and rubbed my arm for four hours while I tripped balls.
I don't know what happened last night. But I just woke up in the high school boiler room
i woke up half naked on someone's pool lounge chair in a house that i don't know, with someone's phone number scrawled on my stomach. why do i hang out with you again??
You just listed two reasons.
Randomize
