I'm lost and stupid without you.
I told him I was pregnant. Figured it would soften the blow of telling him I had herpes.
Did it?
Not as such, no.
The walk of shame isn't so shameful when you do it in a stolen, autographed Favre jersey.
She was wasted. Kept yelling "what if I'm pregnant" and trying to push me into the tree. First and last time I bring a girl to my family christmas party.
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Its so hard looking at my mom and pretending I'm not dying a slow death of binge drinking
I remember tearing his shower curtain down but I don't remember trying to shave my vag...
We just shotgunned beers for America
I'll probably just lay on my couch bra-less sipping wine out of a straw so I don't have to lift my head.
Sun* burn. But that sounds like wait.. Midsentence thought... It would be like swimming in a giant bowl of cereal.. Only I would be cereal. This is brilliant.
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Then this bride walked into the bar, she thought it would be a good idea to hug her & then she started playing parachute with her train.
I just used "et al" in a sext. I thought you'd be proud
Back. Waiting on Thong the shuttle bus driver. THONG
When did i become the Rickety Cricket of my own life?
Leave it to me and my dad to puke on the same guy at the same bar 25 years apart
Due to this morning's events my new porn name is Reepa Nipplov.
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