So you maybe wanna hang out again? I could use the $5
Whatever I can do to help stimulate the economy
new number. flushed my phone last night when i puked, made B help me look for it for 2 hours.
Tried killing a moth in our bathroom. Water everywhere. Don't worry about it.
did he really ask u insert a warm banna in ur anal?
Then you jumped off your bed with your arms outstretched, yelled "I'm Goliath, watch out New York!" and then began singing the Gargoyles theme song as you 'soared' around your room.
Don't be ridiculous, the Gargoyles theme song has no words. How could I sing that mess?
You just started going "da da da da da! da da da da da! DA DA!!" then going "swoosh" as you glided about.
good thing vaginas are great cup holders
id like to know how you successfully locked me in your backseat last night
I'm never telling my kids not to take ecstasy, never. Idk what my mom was thinking.
She kept chasing him yelling thief, because he drank some of her drink. That was at 8, it got worse.
Another day, another engagement, another cat
I just ate 6 cheeseburgers with some homeless guy. Pretty epic.
I just crashed on my couch and have no intention of ever getting up again
I will be over with a bedpan and beer
I'm gonna have to get a lube sherpa.
Please can we have sex in this office for old times sake
So! As of five minutes ago I've officially masturbated in every room in my apartment
Dude, I helped you move in yesterday...
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