I jusy said out loud "gingers unite in the middle of the night"
We're 3 acts into this drag show and we've already run out of Lady Gaga songs.
my roomates packed me a lunch. it had bread, cheesewiz, a can of refried beans and a condom with a note that said "good luck on your first day". im not even gonna pretend to be mad.
There needs to be waaaay more alcohol in my apartment if I am going to survive being unemployed
there's a liquor store near my therapist
i might give it a shot.
you closed your eyes and pointed to a cupboard..there was vodka on the top shelf. your sixth sense is amazing. plus, we convinced the foreign kid you're a booze whisperer
Absinthe night with my dad again, I could get used to this being home thing.
Would it be weird to jack off in the hospital?
Went into Walmart to get a pregnancy test. Came out with a beta fish and chocolate.
Would it be irresponsible to use my tax refund for a boob job?
Yes. Highly encouraged though.
When she says 'Polish hangover cure' she just means more vodka. Don't do it.
So, if you eat too many protein bars, you will shit your pants. This I learnt today..... at work.
Sometimes I just take my boobs out of my shirt so they can get some fresh air
Last night I had a dream that a man with an ice cream body entered a bicycle throwing contest and won.
First time not coming to this class high in a month and a half, never again will i put myself thru this torture
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