You know if a vagina was a face, it'd be ugly as hell...
your life is more of a joke than dina lohan.
if you\'re going to compare me please pick the classy one. Michael Lohan.
You called information & said "connect me to johnny depp" when they told u it wasn't listed u said " try depp comma johnny he's expecting my call"
I was high enough to think chocolate sauce on bagel bites was a good idea
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
you threw up in someones recycling bin and left a note apologizing. how drunk do you think you were?!
He was like a foghorn with a huge penis.
We somehow managed to get the sumo-wrestler costume into the washing machine, but I don't think the cupcake icing completely came off... And it still smells like tequila.
And I can taste the vodka through my ears. Good god.
He is gay. There is no bi when you have a manhunt AND you are an art major. That's like a unicorn without a horn, it just isn't possible.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
If I get over there and the april fools joke is that there's no HBO, I'm setting fire to the place.
Bad news: I found out that girl you want has a boyfriend. Good news: she'll probably cheat on him with you. Better news: after seeing the way she treats him, that's the most interaction you're going to want with her anyway. Trust me.
that's the best thing i've ever said to a penis
I mean honestly, I love naps like Anthony Weiner loves sending dick pics
I started crying during a meeting at work and now I'm sitting on my couch drinking boxed wine at 1:30 in the afternoon. Fuck you too estrogen.
I just described cereal to my mother as "acoustic breakfast soup".
who is this
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