my 12 year old sister just told me how admirable it was that i felt comfortable going out with my friends dressed "like that"
Apparently I did my philosophy paper last night. It's not bad either.
He decided not to draw dicks on my face when I passed out because he was afraid I'd retaliate and superglue his dick to his stomach....he knows me too well.
after i talked him through a bulleted list of why we couldn't have sex he just said "but it would be fun...."
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Theres a midget tsa agent. Just an observation
You know what my problem is? I'm like a machine designed for the sole intention of removing the pants from damaged girls.
I never appreciated sexting until I went to rehab
Does this mean I don't have to apologize for launching about 20 bead necklaces at you from the balcony?
You're the only one to love me enough for me to admit the following: Rock-bottom sounds like sobbing to a Miley Cyrus song.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
In going to go underground and live with the mole people for a while.
I went out with a plan. I came home with a Brian. THIS WAS NOT PART OF THE PLAN.
He sent me a website link to GIF on Snapchat. I don’t think he understands how Social Media works.
Just waxed 95% of the hair off my vag. If he doesn't enjoy this tonight, you will, whether you like it or not.
I'm going to need you to stop harassing my professor on Twitter when you're drunk.
i just wanted have a romantic star gaze moment with him. untill he let out a massive fart.
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