8th day he invented the big mac, 9th he invented pop rocks, 10th day boobs.
It was like a fairy tale, until he tried to put it in my ass...
even if everyone didnt know them screaming eskimo brothers and high fiveing over my head kinda gave it away
i went to go through my sent box of drunk texts from last night and they were all deleted... i'm going to assume drunk me made the executive decision that sober me would be better off not knowing what they said
Careful when you walk in I'm laying by the door.
Bank of America: Available balance is $546.25 on 03/04/2011 for account 8428. Go online for details. TextSTOPtoStop/TextHELPforHelp
i loe djcudia fjxos rue.
He's dressed as a power ranger handing out cocaine
he was too drunk to climb up my loft. i owe my beating teen pregnancy to four pieces of steel
No but I was fuckin done when I realized my acrylic nail caught fire when I was hitting the bong.
And that is why we dont do tequila shooters at 1 in the afternoon. Because you go home with a beast like that
I was proudly and successfully the first girl ever to get kicked out of a the bar for being too drunk last night. Loving spring break.
i just need to find someone who enjoys eating frozen waffles as much as I do. It will be perfect.
He is a sweet angel sent from dick heaven!
Also this morning I remembered seeing the stripper he threw up on later in the night. She was clothed though.
We still on for Manwhore Monday?
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