Sorry, I don't speak sober.
Laughlin, where retired strippers come to die.
its 9am. i just got home. spent 6 hours blowing him in a closet last night
i am YELPING strip clubs. This is interesting.
You broke a cabinet. You were climbing up it and it collapsed on you. Lines were crossed.
Vodka @ 9pm. Library. Nothing can go wrong, I promise.
I've officially done it all, fucked a girl wearing a twister board. ABC parties are amazing!
I just farted in the bathroom and the guy in the stall next to me started gagging. Its a beauitful day
Thursday is not a good day to become a felon... It's bingo night
Teach me the ways of your demonic sorcery.
Oh, btw, UPS might come by. Drunk me ordered us $75 worth of gummy airhead starburst type candies. Whatever it is, it'll be delicious.
His cat just sat there and simultaneously bobbed his head up and down while I blew him
Burnt food and a broken vibrator. Disappointment after disappointment. Is April a man?
Do you know anything about how the saran wrap ended up on my toilet seat?
She told me I’m a “stunt cock.” I’m okay with that
Randomize
