I wouldn't call it sex. It's like when you put a plug in a socket half way. It's not all the way in but it still turns on the light.
Her birthday cake consisted of a shot of tequila with a candle in it
Saved By The Bell: The College Years had it waaaay wrong on that one.
while we were making out your friend starting kissing my toes and all you had to say was "just go with it"
Help. Me. He just whispered 'prepare yourself', & sprayed hairspray everywheres to make sure the 'air was crisp'
Absolute soulmates or functional alcoholics?
Can't be the first without the last
Either I'm deep cleaning my apartment out of severe academic procrastination or I'm subconsciously nesting and need to take a pregnancy test.
I think it's awesome that you're getting shower sex advice from a Mormon.
He's going to be my graduation present to myself.
I woke up with a thorn in my belly button. A THORN!
I just want to sit my fat ass down at McDonald's and never leave
No one needs to know about the barren wasteland that is my vag. Sometimes i visualize my cervix rocking back and forth wondering where everybody went.
I just pictured that. It's reading a book.
so is it socially acceptable to send her an "i got my man back you whore" card?
How’s the date going?? Do you think he’s gonna cut your face off and wear it to his birthday party?
This girl in my class is lecturing my professor about zombies. It has been going on for 15 minutes.
Zombies?
Zombies.
Randomize
