I will come over but only if I don't have to take my sunglasses off for it
I'm sorry..where i come from learning how to exploit a wealthy middle aged man is a right of passage
im flying all the way to minnesota to see him for four days... cutest-best-friend-reunion or most-epic-booty-call-ever?
who says it cant be both...
We just made a drinking game out of our chemistry review. This might explain my chemistry grade.
She's dressed as a slutty Dalmatian. I doubt she has morals.
I need you to come over. Im crying, day drinking and working out simultaneously.
Call me when you wake up. I wanna start drinking but I'm giving up hope on my life if I drink alone before 10 am
Whatever, the fact of the matter is that I saved you from poorly planned outdoor sex by doing a rain dance and you should totally thank me.
I'm sitting here in nothing but my panties, eating beef jerky and reese's for breakfast.Today is not the day to expect me to make sound life decisions.
Not many people can say they've been photo bombed by an antelope. I sure did.
Anyway, it's clearly a shapeshifting vagina/AT-AT, which I never said I was SEXUALLY attracted to. Just that I liked it.
He had Homeward Bound on VHS how was I supposed to not fuck him
Went to the lab to print and realized the guy next to me was the one we stole all the beer from last night..... Oops
Wearing my one sleeve dress...thought you'd like to know I shaved ONE armpit lol
Only if I get to be Gritty
How would you be Gritty for a fantasy hockey league?
Don't worry about it.
Randomize
