I'm like a rollypolly, I only open my legs up when I feel safe.
I'm cleaning the house. And I can't stop listening to Enrique Iglesias. Am I gay?
I even have the new album if that helps you make a decision.
white trash bash was a total success...cops shut it down twice and her hair stayed in rollers all night..she never broke character
Will you be topless? That will affect my answer.
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mom and dad are asleep. time to fish my half-full bottle of wine out from under my bed and give this christmas visit a pick-me-up.
"half-full" seems a little optimistic for the turn your night is taking.
she showed up with nothing but olive garden breadsticks in her purse.
Just found out my 21st birthday is on a Wednesday. The possibilities are cheap, as well as endless.
I'm sorry I ignored your high cries for help while you were grating cheese on my dog.
He texted back and said he would hook up if he didn't have a test at 8am. It's really hard to be annoyed by how good of a student he is.
Yeah that sucks. That's why I stick to deadbeat sports management majors.
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I just can't promise there won't be a reason to hit you in the face with a dildo again in the future.
I have a magical vagina and I can't deny it anymore
I don't know. I'm drunk and dressed as a pirate but ill do the math tomorrow morning.
If more people understood that brunch is at 3pm the world would be a better place because you don't have to wake up early. Breakfast food is important
IT TOOK ME LIKE AN HOUR TO DO THAT. DO YOU KNOW HOW HARD IT IS FOR ME TO CONCENTRATE ON ONE THING FOR AN ENTIRE HOUR?!
I have bruises everywhere an I broke the lamp. So ya I'd considerate rough sex.
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