He quoted an N'sync song to confess his attraction to me. Needless to say, I had sex with him.
I feel like I would bang a guy with a dick piercing just to say I have...like climbing a huge mountain or somethig
who do i root for if I want Christiano Ronaldo to win the world cup on a team by himself and then bang chicks on the pitch?
relax...and go to your happy place, which probably has a lot of dicks
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She refused to give me a hand job while we were watching a war movie saying she didn't wanna disrespect the soldiers
You know you're old when tea and a hot bath are more appealing than beer pong with lesbians.
Then she cat effected the picture of my dick I sent her the other night. I'm in love.
it looks like my getting laid tonight is going to depend on my knowledge of native birds. this is a weird party
If you want me to retract my crazy cat lady comments pictures of yourself dressed as a cat are not the way to do it.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
New low. I just threw up in the shower at 4pm. Nothing like leaving behind my 20s with class.
It was literally 8 o'clock in the morning. His horniness knows no bounds.
You came in last night, ate an entire avocado in silence, and then told me I should never accept rides from strangers. Not sure I even want to know what happened to you last night!
She told me she loves wine, but hates the mud butt the next day. Dude, way to much info on a second date.
Remind me to tell you about this weekend with them. It was the least fun I have ever had drinking. And I have thrown up pork and beer through my nose on the side of the freeway.
Staff meetings will be awkward since my boss and I both did the new intern
Maybe she doesn’t know you did him
Oh she definitely knows - it was a threesome
Please tell me you’re not taking life advice from porn scripts again
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