I just wanna be some guy's midlife crisis
I just criticized a porno's use of editing. Film school is ruining me.
Like some sort of pot growing robin hood.
Please tell me joes at work safe and sound and doesn't smell like jail?
Grandma can hear your bong from the living room, please be more quiet. Love mom.
dude this night sums up my single life. naked, crying, and covered in honey. i need to get laid.
I don't think you should be sorry for such memorable sex that I yell your name when you aren't around.
She bought my penis dinner and beer last night. Her words
Oh my god he's laying on a longboard singing the song from cool runnings.
We were still up at 6am, taking shots, because thats apparently how he liked to "get the day started".
Hi please disregard the last text and if you'd like our entire interaction
Done
The bump on my forehead, i think, was from falling asleep at front door, on my knees, slumped over. But we played good music so what?
I'm about to have a threesome at the hotel where I had my quinceañera. Becoming a woman under this roof for the second time, whaaat
Last night was like blooper reel sex. He dropped me!!
The cure for a hangover evidently is not walking around in a costume in the sun towards of park of screaming children
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