Text. Mid BJ. 8 points.
I woke up this morning and "The Wood" was on tv. Touche TBS, touche.
i feel like barbie the morning after an elton john party
is there an easy way to say "i didnt plan on sleeping with you until i saw how drunk you were" ?
I'm sitting in class drinking a forty out of a paper bag. No ones said anything yet. I think my professor is trying to ignore me. Better start yelling louder.
did u get his digits?
yes his name is chazbangbangbang according to my phone...
I can trace it back to that drunken night where we peed on each other in the shower.
That dude you fucked three years ago just won Jeopardy
TONGUES ARE JUST MEAT TENTACLES IN OUR MOUTHS OMG
HOW ABOUT I DON'T WAKE UP TO THESE TYPES OF TEXTS
Hooker in the library. I repeat, we have a hooker in the library. This is not a drill.
you got coffee,laid,and a sandwich. that never happens when I work
It's important to establish I slept with her BEFORE we officially became cousins-in-law.
I may or may not have spent student loan money on a vibrator, that falls under living expenses right?
i’m blowing bubbles in my bloody mary so yeah it’s pretty much time to go
Something in me snapped and now I’m just googling famous vegans.
Randomize
