Happy Easter!!!
I'm an idiot
he said he got tested two months ago... he goes with his whole family.
Can you call him, he said something about going to the balcony to pee and now hes texting me saying hes lost
No, not at all. Pulling a condom out of your vag at 2pm is NOTHING like finding $10 in your winter coat. Stop trying to make me feel better.
well the blowjob for study guide exchange was a success.
I will give you all my nachos to make this happen
Topless bubble bath with a lesbian is debatable as a gay experience.
There's a cop, a pizza guy and a half naked girl outside along with a dog that I don't know. It feels like I walked into a Judd Apatow movie.
my night stand is a mini fridge, dont even try to get on my level of laziness.
We had an in depth conversion about the best way to take a dick pic. Both with and without mirrors.
Adding to the list of things I have said out loud at the bar that I shouldn't have: "I am the yoda of sucking dick"
I WAS KIDDING ABOUT SLUTEMBER BUT ITS ACTUALLY HAPPENING
Nothing quite like the "I had sex you a month ago and now we're stopped at the same 4 way" wave
The night got way more interesting after Jimmy started doing summersaults in front of the bar.
But seriously like how many girls do you know that will do that on the first date?
One?
ONE! And it was was glorious!
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