I puked in a mailbox on the way back from your house.
I must say, I don't like the act of throwing up, but the feeling after is quite delightful
Ate pizza for the 3rd time today, can't decide if that's disgusting or an amazing aspect of American culture.
Clearly I made an impression.
Or at least your vagina did.
The nurse told me they're using the same medicine that killed michael jackson.
I was on my way at Dorito Smoothie
ok, my life is complete.... the cops AND the paramedic just made a Mean Girls reference...
I believe you called it tequila and nipples. The proceeded to strike a pose.
Part of my treatment is getting high and having sex with 22 year olds. I have a prescription!
he's like a horny 3rd grader on cocaine. he needs a leash
So for St Paddys day I colored my junk green and got a little hat for him....wanna see it before I sober up....
Here's to not getting arrested this year on thanksgiving again. Cheers bitches!
i definitely signed you up to receive text message notifications from a jukebox last night. Not even sorry.
I get stoned and write a 15 page history report in two hours. She gets stoned and cries because she "doesn't know which shade of pink is the real one".
Stacy lit a fart and burn half of the couch down before we can put the Flames out. Bring your truck.
Randomize
