In these economic times, linking arms taking tequilla shots with your boss as an underage girl is the best job security I can think of
we went back to her place to bone only to find her boyfriend having sex.. with MY girlfriend
i got last night's adventure to take the garbage out when he was leaving. my vagina is THAT good.
i no longer even have beer goggles. i'm pretty sure i blacked out and had beer lasik.
We really need to check into harvesting part of our liver now
Don't look him in the eyes, it like looking at the sun but instead of burning your retinas it makes you wet and vulnerable
Well you finally jumped into that tree you've always wanted into and some girl gave you an 8.5. You were very happy.
i was really hopeful that i could make it to the end of the semester without doing something stupid enough to destroy our relationship but i guess i was wrong..........thanks vodka
I really have to stop having sex with people I sell drugs to...it feels unprofessional
he had hair everywhere except his balls
The ride home was alright, we hooked up in the street next to his car after he smashed into the guard rail
Thanks for having me over last night. Sorry I licked rum off your kitchen floor.
All because of that GODDAMNED MIKE PENCE.
Apparently I'm some kind of sexual camel.
Your the only girl I know that carries a $1100 purse with tater tots inside
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