You were so drunk last night you thought you force pushed the automatic door open.
Most guys don't get turned on by "skinny, gangly legged girl with glasses laying in bed touching herself." You better start working on your diction if you're gonna keep up the sexting.
Dude id rather jerk off w a fist full of bee's than deal with that girl that never stops talking.
There is a positive side to a sinus infection. Exclusively cowgirl sex. I've convinced her I'd pass out if I had to do the work.
Imagine getting smashed in the dick by a basketball. A basketball made of metal. With spikes. That's pretty much what his dick looked like.
ANNA HAS DISCOVERED EROTIC FANFICTION OF SHARKNADO THIS IS NOT A DRILL
There is what appears to be urine on the woman's bathroom sink. I just have so many questions right now.
I yelled "NO FLEX ZONE!!!" at the guy that thinks it's cool to take off his shirt at the party then proceeded to puking
I wanna get high and watch Shrek tonight...don't make me do it alone.
EW FUCK GROSS GODDAMMIT I WENT DOWNSTAIRS AND MY GODDAMN BROTHER WAS FINGERING SOME GIRL ON THE FLOOR DOESN'T HE KNOW HE FUCKING LIVES WITH PEOPLE
Whoever put the life size cut out of Snoop Dog next to me in bed understands me.
I don't WANT a sex disease! Especially one assigned to me by my supervisor..
If you could not mention to him that I slept with his best friend, that'd be cool of you.
His PENIS is so fucking big that I always use caps, out of respect.
Setting myself up for trouble? Yes. But getting laid is a lot more important at this time.
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