I would say a second date is not looking likely, I acciedentally bit his penis. it's still bleeding 43 minutes later.
its not that she doesnt like having sex with you, your balls just smell worst then your ass.
I stumbled into my living room at 4 a.m. to find him hurling my laptop across the room and his pants around his ankles. Clearly his night didn't go as planned.
the girl walking home behind me started yelling and pointing "i want an ass like hers!" i feel vaguely accomplished.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You just handed me your ATM card and wrote your PIN number on a dollar bill and said "for bail money."
Hey. Be honored that I consider you the genital expert. I know alot of candidates for the position.
She has a lazy eye!
My other option is a hardwood floor
Bad idea to be in a car concussed. I just described his dick as an elevator. I think i meant escalator, i dont know
I'm trying to ve beat feiesnd sent.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You've thrown off my entire schedule. Usually SATURDAYS are my "try to hide the jizz on my leggings" days
Just participated in the saddest thing: Cheetos. Handjob. I have lost at life
My mom just said she had more presents to wrap, so I should "smoke some weed & go back to bed"... She really is Santa Claus
Doug will be the one to get my vagina. I don't know when or how but I'm now declaring that it is his. And he better not disappoint.
Apparently I'm some kind of sexual camel.
We are totally like Jim and Pam, except ya know, drunk and not together anymore.
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