That's why you don't touch shit after fingering somebone
I just gave head in the laundry room on campus. He said it was one of the best moments in all of history. Take that, neil armstrong.
You say "I'm in class" like it matters... I'm getting a little tired of having to smoke by myself at 4:20 because you're in class.
if tampons were more like dildos the world would be a better place
First coke bust down the road. Spring is finally here.
But don't worry I didn't actually get stitches, although according to the health center I probably should have
Although I commend your efforts to keep my penis away from her, your sister is now booty walking up my stairs. Good game though, good game.
ASS. GYMANSTICS. OLYMPICS. NOW!!!
Due to last night I think a roommate constitution should be made. The first law will be designed to prevent any chicks below a 4 to enter the house.
you missed 2am bagpipes and my roommate looking hot as fuck in a kilt
This chick just walked by and pet my beard. Don't know, never talked to her. She just walked by and pet my beard.
Marry her
I'm at a first year old's birthday party and a midget dressed as a cop just showed up. Word is we're going to toss and bowl with him. Updates to come.
His boxer smelled like clean laundry while I was giving him head. It was delightful, like sucking a dick in a spring meadow.
Well, I like big penises but it's not like he walks around with it out or anything so yes I think he has beautiful eyes
Idk but when you think about it the last time I did bottomless mimosas I ended up getting my nipples pierced so it might be fair
Randomize
