The pirates hijacked 3 more ships today!!
we need a boat to join in
Obama is on top of it we'd get killed within mins, but we'd live in legend foreva
Do you ever think God made girls unattractive around their periods as a warning?
You were in my dream and you got the lyrics to lollipop tattooed on your chest. Don't get it, it wasnt that cool.
I told him he was my first gentile. He was so flattered.
Trying to convince my mother to let me take some of my sisters Lortab to sell is not going well
Scored tix to flower show. Do we want to go drunk on Saturday or hungover on Sunday? Only two options.
Birthday Treasure Hunt was to follow the clues. At each spot there was a stick on tattoo and a shot and at the end there was 2 cases of beer. I have 13 tattoos and don't remember turning 18.
You fucked everything up-can't pass a cleared kitchen table without getting hard
ripping the fire alarm off the wall probably seemed like a better idea last night than it really was.
THERE IS AN ENORMOUS FAT WOMAN EYEING MY FLIGHT'S GATE LIKE IT WOULD BE DELICIOUS TO EAT.
Thank you for FINALLY joining the Slutasorus Rex club in this conversation.
FUCK YEAH PUPPY BOWL
yeah. i tried to refuse to leave unless the burger king himself escorted me out. that didnt fly
I don't know what that means but it's making me want to fuck you.
If I look at him, he starts sobbing. Please come get him; he's scaring the cats.
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