Good face, no body. And apparently her vagina is related to chewbaca.
I saw her while sober, and she is definately cut off from the penis ride
I love how you send me nude pics of girls you're fucking and name them by which city they're in instead of their name. "This is Nashville, this is Tupelo, this is Jackson..."
That's ok. Our relationship has a solid foundation of booze and questionable behavior.
He sat there and debated the pros and cons of hooking up with me
Dude she's famous. She's on an episode of campus pd. Can't not fuck her
My sister was not impressed when she got here. I was standing in the doorway in my underwear drinking a beer. At 2pm. On a Monday.
Talking to friends parents while buying all the things needed for Jell-O shots. classic
And regarding bottomless mimosas stopping at 1 pm, there was a chick who drove her car into the back of the bar. Blame that bitch, not you peeing in the koi pond.
REWARD BLOWJOB!! STAY RIGHT WHERE YOU ARE I'LL BE THERE IN FIVE MINUTES.
He should know he can't successfully wrestle in pudding fully clothed. Amateur.
In the officer's defense, I was indeed pantless at the time he cuffed me, but there's a perfectly good explanation.
Must be why he thought choking was foreplay. Like WTF? No.
You chased a rabbit then knocked on a police car and asked the cop "if he saw where that little bastard went."
Here's the "to do" list i just found on my phone: buy stripper pole, make sex playlist, buy febreeze
Randomize
