i just masturbated with purell and my dick burns and smells like a hospital
I thought I hit my peak drinking in college. Just finished first day on Wall Street. College was nothing.
My girlfriend and my fuck buddy both started their periods this weekend. The good news is, neither of them are pregnant. The bad news is, I'll have to find someone else to fuck til next weekend. No wait.....that's good news too.
When I try to close my eyes ibwant to puke. Going to the basement to watch pocohantas. That'll keep myeyes open. And puke free.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I am a human short and spout . Here is my jager Herr is my redbull . When i get real drink i shout out. Tip me over and pour yeager out
What's the over under on catching something from your sister?
There were four people in the car. The girls sure know how to blow. I think we almost crashed when the driver climaxed.
Oh and apparently something happened that was related to "THIS IS SPARTA" but no one will tell me what I did.
So I'm going to blame my boobs hurting on that.
I told my therapist about the other night and he actually whistled and said "wow that is not good."
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Am I supposed to get so horny by looking at your dick that I start orgasming uncontrollably
No? The only contact I've had with him for months was when I drunk texted him from Costa Rica to say that all jazz sounds the same
She tried to fuck me right at the bar in front of everyone. She actually got my pants unzipped before I realized what was going on.
I am drunk and aggressive about the olympixs
It's spelled Olympics
Grandpa just whipped it out and started pissing on the way to the game stuck in traffic. I saw EVERYTHING. :(
I STUDIED GEOGRAPHY I KNOW THIS SHIT!! DON'T YOU DARE QUESTION MY AUTHORITY ON GLACIAL DEPOSITION AGAIN BITCH!!
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