ok 1 i realized people actually live in central wisconsin and 2 culvers could be a good place to pick up chicks today
we just got in the car and birthday sex is playing
that is a sign the 3 of us should have a threesome
we agree. completely
I passed out and woke up with my pockets full of Lucky Charms cereal and chocolate coins. Another successful St Pattys Day.
DAMMIT. BOHEMIAN RHAPSODY IS GONNA GET STUCK IN MY HEAD AGAIN. FUCK YOU OLYMPICS.
After the Jell-o shots and about 6 shots of lighter fluid brand tequila, it got to the point where breathing was painful. All I could do was pray I didn't fall asleep in the front yard.
I woke up this morning and the lid to the back of my toilet was missing. Dahfaq do I do with this shit?
Two really nice girls helped clean the taco out of my hair.
that game of battleshots got way too fucking intense. why does the couch have burn marks now.
So I bought that bathing suit yesterday and got buyers remorse so I returned it today and then stole it. Win win.
At first it will make you think "how is this physically possible?" and then it will ruin an entire food group for you.
And no one can masturbate with the sound of Bernie's voice in the background
No joke. There's a picture of the priest I made out with on my parents' refrigerator.
There's no triumph quite like finally banging your high school boyfriend 6 years later
I brought coffee but not enough for the naked guy on your porch
Idk, I know when I drink vodka my bi side comes out and I just want to make out with a girl
Randomize
